I don’t want to be someone left in the past, or someone temporary for you. I don’t want to be put in a time frame of existence then released when my purpose is over, and you’re satisfied or when it’s just simply convenient for you to leave.
I hope I don’t relive the past. I just hope that tomorrow is not like today, same mistakes made yet no lessons learned and zero improvements.
Same shit, different day.
I knew it was too good to be true that maybe, after all these years we would finally be able to move forward, for us to be okay and that friendship was possible. I thought the kindness showing from your heart was sincere but you played well, you fooled me. Realistically, friendship isn’t a option for us well, not anytime soon anyways. I don’t understand why you had to bring up the past, it’s not going to change and neither are you. So, good riddance to you!
I use to love you. I used to think I’d wait for you forever, thinking that one day you’ll come back to me again, on and off like we were though at the end, we’d be happy together, and things would go back to how they use to be. But this time it was different, it wasn’t the same anymore. This time it was for real. There were no more second chances. It was over, we were over.
Now, I’m happier than I ever imagined I would be without you or even when I was with you. Throughout it all I’ve learned a lot, I’m glad I gave up on us, on you because if it wasn’t for that decision I wouldn’t have met him.
You made me realised, that I didn’t deserve the way you treated me regardless if you did make me happy since, the pain you brought me always out balanced my happiness. So thank you for opening my eyes, and helping me realise that I should NEVER settle for less nor the way I deserve and SHOULD be treated.
I can’t go back. I’m too far ahead now, I’m living in the present. My reasons have a purpose, and living back in the past loses it’s meaning. It’ll be all for nothing.
Seeing you now is always hard as it never gets easier. We don’t have any common ground whatsoever except him. Yet lately, it seems to frequently feel uncomfortable and so damn awkward, I hate it. Experiencing this today made me feel out of place and I don’t know if its your intention to do so. Though, that moment when he slipped his fingers into mine and held my hand tightly, was a simply action that reassured and comforted me. You had him, he was yours, you should of treated him right and now you know it. No disrespect - I’m treating him the way he deserves to be, the way you didn’t.